Where the MGTOW Movement Goes Wrong

Central Park in January, 2019

MGTOW stands for “Men Going Their Own Way.” The general idea is supposed to be that men are better off separating themselves from women than dealing with the hostility, slanted laws and ridiculous expectations that men have to deal with to be in a relationship today. If you were trying to illustrate it with a meme, this would do an excellent job of it.

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Now, MGTOW’s constantly get labeled as incels or simply misogynists. Many of them will disagree with this, but it’s not entirely untrue. If you read MGTOW and Incel forums, there is a lot of overlap. Also, without question, a significant percentage of MGTOWs strongly dislike women. All that being said, that probably doesn’t account for a majority of MGTOWs and certainly, they don’t define themselves that way.

From what I have generally seen of MGTOWs, if you asked them why they were going their own way, they’d say something like, “Women are just too difficult to deal with these days. I’d rather focus on improving myself and making my life better while spending my money on myself.” In fact, some of the things people like to post on MGTOW forums are cool set-ups they have in their house (since they didn’t have to spend that money on women), nice meals they made for themselves or glorious vacation shots.

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So, what’s the problem with all of this? I’d say that they’re correctly diagnosing the disease, but making a grave mistake in the way it should be treated.

Once you get away from the misogynistic excesses you often see on MGTOW forums, they do have a real point. Feminism is horrible. The #MeToo movement is a mess. Society does overvalue women and undervalues men. Marriage laws are slanted against guys.

Put another way, these are people who have been “Red Pilled” and have reacted by saying, “This is just too hard, I am checking out.” Of course, even the guy who essentially invented the Red Pill, Rollo Tomassi, is married and says that he believes, “men and women are better together than they are apart.”

I’d also add that this makes me think back to a conversation I once had with a guy who was hyper-focused on materialism. For him, “success” was wearing expensive suits, living in a big house, driving a nice car and having plenty of money. Incidentally, those are all great things. However, he was wondering why he was making lots of money and still wasn’t happy. I told him that there was an answer to that and it’s that life isn’t about money and “stuff,” it’s about connecting with other human beings. There is absolutely no question in my mind that someone who is dirt poor, but happily married with lots of friends is far better off than a lonely billionaire who doesn’t have anyone in his life that cares about him for more than his wallet. This is not what society tells us, but it’s how life actually works.

So relating this back to the MGTOW, I’ve done solo vacations and vacations with women and it would be hard to decide which ones I enjoyed more. I enjoy having a girl with me and enjoy my own company. In fact, this picture is from a solo vacation I took in New York City earlier this year. It’s from Central Park…

Central Park in January, 2019

But part of the charm of a vacation, when you’re with a girl, is sharing the experience. We human beings tend to separate ourselves from the natural world, but the reality is that we’re pack animals like dogs. Yes, we can get distracted chewing on our bones or playing with our toys, but we’re going to be happier as part of a group.

Speaking of separating ourselves from the natural world, have you ever considered that from the dawn of human existence until now, you have an unbroken line of male ancestors that have found a woman and procreated? Do you think you are going to break that chain and be HAPPIER for it? That seems really unlikely.

Last but not least, it is fair to say that dating, relationships, and marriage are orders of magnitude more difficult than they used to be. In fact, something Roosh said about that comes to mind:

“Consider the type of game your grandfathers had to use on your grandmothers. In all likelihood, it was to be good men, get involved with the church, line up stable jobs, and be friendly. They didn’t have to sleep with a dozen or more girls to enter a relationship that would last less than a year. There was no conscious effort on their part to try to be an alpha male or not to appear needy. When “grandfather game” becomes the best game to land a great woman, I will be the first to get excited, but we have to admit that your grandfathers may not have reproduced today if they had been forced to meet your grandmothers in the kind of climate we have to face.”

In other words, the things driving MGTOWs to be MGTOWs are real issues….but people are still finding a way. Half of Americans 18 and older are married and another 7% are cohabitating. When you’re talking about nearly 60% of the population pulling something off, it’s not just the people at the top succeeding. It’s not an easy game for men, but it’s still a winnable game. Do you really want to give up even though you know that it’s a winnable game and that chances are, you will be happier playing it?

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John Hawkins
John Hawkins created Rightwingnews.com in 2001; built it up to a top 10,000 in the world website; created a corporation with more than 20 employees to support it; created a 3.5 million person Facebook page; became one of the most popular conservative columnists in America; was published everywhere from National Review to Human Events, to Townhall, to PJ Media, to the Daily Wire, to The Hill; wrote a book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know that was at one point top 50 in the self-help section on Amazon; did hundreds of hours as a guest on radio shows, raised $611,000 in a GoFundMe for Brett Kavanaugh’s family and has been talked about everywhere from The New York Times to Buzzfeed, to the Washington Post, to Yahoo News, to the Rush Limbaugh Show, to USA Today. After seeing the unjust way that Brett Kavanaugh was treated during his hearings and how a lifetime worth of good work was put at risk by unprovable allegations, John Hawkins decided to create a men’s website. Welcome to Brass Pills!


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