There are few worse things that a woman can say about you than, “You’re such a nice guy!” Maybe “You’re rapey looking” or “Do you molest kids?” Even “Are you gay?” is better because women sometimes use that to tease or express frustration that you’re not interested in them.
Why is, “You’re such a nice guy” a cutting insult?
Because think of all the REAL compliments she could have given you:
* You are SO good looking; it’s like you’re photoshopped!
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* You’re so strong! I wouldn’t want to meet you in a dark alley!
* You are the best guitarist I’ve ever seen!
* You’re so physical. I bet you’re a Viking in bed!
* OMG, you are hilarious! You could be a comedian!
* Are you like a professional athlete?
* You remind me of John Wayne! You’re such a man’s man!
So, when a woman says you’re a “nice guy,” what she’s really saying is there is nothing distinct about you whatsoever that she can compliment. You’re not particularly intelligent, attractive or strong in her eyes. However, you’re in her vicinity, talking to her and she feels compelled to say something polite; so it’s “You’re such a nice guy.”
Now, I guarantee you that there are some men reading this who are thinking something like, “Oh, so I shouldn’t be nice? Are you saying I should be an asshole like every other guy?”
First of all, it’s okay to be nice. In fact, most men are relatively nice to women. Women without self-esteem problems don’t latch onto jerks . The whole idea that only assholes get the girl is just as phony as the “A woman will fall in love with you if you stalk her long enough to show you’re persistent” romantic comedies that women like.
The reason some guys miss this is that they bend over so far backward to try to be “nice” that they forget to display any kind of personality at all. You’re not supposed to do whatever a woman tells you to do. If a woman is being a bitch, you’re supposed to call her on it. If you sit there all day saying nothing more than “yes, dear” and “whatever you say, dear,” not only are you going to be miserable, she’s going to be bored out of her mind with you.
Most women, even strong women, want to be with a man strong enough to lead them. Sometimes showing strength means stepping on some toes.
This is why jerks sometimes do well with women. It’s not because they’re jerks, but because in the process of being a jerk, they display traits that women like. They seem confident. They look at themselves as the prize, not the woman. They produce excitement. They appear honest. They show strength. They give women something to talk about with their girlfriends.
Is any of this true about the “nice guy?”
If you were really confident, you wouldn’t be kissing her ass.
If you viewed yourself as the prize, you’d be yourself and let her try to impress you.
There’s nothing more boring than a nice guy who’s more concerned with not being offensive than being fun.
Nobody is that nice all the time; so women know you’re phony when you’re being obsequious.
Strong men don’t bow down to anyone, including the woman they’re with.
What is there for women to talk about with their girlfriends when a man does whatever she says? “Oh, girl, I have him wrapped around my little finger! Ha ha ha!”
Be strong. Be brave. Be funny. Be industrious. Be energetic. Be exciting. Be fashionable. Be sexy. Be fit. Be cocky. Be successful. Be fun. Be masculine.
Be ANYTHING except just “nice.”