The “Talk About Your Feelings” Lie

There is a NEVER-ENDING PUSH to get men to spew their emotions out at every opportunity. It’s “new masculinity,” it’s for your “mental health,” it’s “healthy to cry,” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah — bullsh*t.

Of course, as Matt Walsh noted in this tweet, it’s usually a trap,

It’s considered feminine to be emotional and so when women do it, they normally get support. Their female friends go into overdrive to build them up, while men endeavor to fix their problems. Often, this isn’t what they want. They’re just venting which is EXTREMELY ANNOYING, but it is what it is.

On the other hand, it’s different for men. You start crying to the world and other men roll their eyes while women immediately assume you’re a contemptible beta. Want me to give you a great example of men that are very open about their feelings? Incels. Yes, they can be extremely obnoxious, but do they get points from ANYONE for their anger at the world and for talking about how they feel like losers and how they feel like they lost the genetic lottery?


It’s like the great Lou Holtz said,

When the going gets tough, the tough aren’t supposed to cry. They’re supposed to suck it up, take the pain and go on. A man is supposed to be a rock. He’s supposed to be the guy you can trust to have your back in a fight. He’s supposed to be the guy OTHER PEOPLE look to when times get hard. How’s he supposed to fulfill his duty if he has an emotional hair-trigger?

By the way, the idea that men don’t show emotion isn’t even remotely true. But when men get excited, angry, thrilled or even cry at an appropriate time (Jesus wept), that isn’t what people mean when they say men need to “talk about their emotions.” What they really mean is you should act like Brendan Fraser in Bedazzled when he wishes that he could be the most emotionally sensitive man in the world.

Talk about how it makes you feel when you see a sad movie. Go to a psychologist because you’re upset about which political party is in power. Cry when someone says something mean about you on Twitter.

Do you know what your reward will be for this? EVERYONE will think you are a huge p*ssy. “Oh, but you’ll get that emotional release and will feel so much better!” Will you? Really? Does anyone look at crybabies and think, “Wow! They seem like super healthy, admirable people that I want to be like?”

Again, I’m not saying men should be emotionless robots, but “wearing your heart on your sleeve” will bring you nothing but grief if you’re a man.

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John Hawkins
John Hawkins created in 2001; built it up to a top 10,000 in the world website; created a corporation with more than 20 employees to support it; created a 3.5 million person Facebook page; became one of the most popular conservative columnists in America; was published everywhere from National Review to Human Events, to Townhall, to PJ Media, to the Daily Wire, to The Hill; wrote a book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know that was at one point top 50 in the self-help section on Amazon; did hundreds of hours as a guest on radio shows, raised $611,000 in a GoFundMe for Brett Kavanaugh’s family and has been talked about everywhere from The New York Times to Buzzfeed, to the Washington Post, to Yahoo News, to the Rush Limbaugh Show, to USA Today. After seeing the unjust way that Brett Kavanaugh was treated during his hearings and how a lifetime worth of good work was put at risk by unprovable allegations, John Hawkins decided to create a men’s website. Welcome to Brass Pills!


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