Oof. This is rough:
COVID-19 Destroyed us, idk how to fix this.
Hello and ty for reading this. I (34F) was with (36M) for 10 months. Like any other couple, we had our ups and downs. But mostly ups, that made our relationship pretty amazing. We were doing great, and COVID-19 happened. He has an essential job, and it’s been a lot more complicated and stressful for him. He suffers from mental health, and I have noticed he’s gotten dark. I have tried and done my best to be super supportive. But myself, working from home, and unable to leave due to being a cancer survivor and an asthmatic, house arrest hasn’t been nice to me either, so my anxiety took over me as well. I had a lot of problems being alone as we live in separate homes, but I kept it to myself because of his high stress lvl job he has.
This Tuesday, he told me he wasn’t doing well, and didn’t want to go to work. I gave him words of affirmation and tried to comfort him to make him feel better. As the day went by, I didn’t hear from him. We always contact with one another during the day, when we could. But he was dead silent, and I was worried. 12 hours later i called, and asked how he was, and said I was worried about him and wanted to make sure her was okay. He said he was fine, but he’s gone super dark, cause of current events and is having major mental problems.
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He said he couldn’t be in a relationship, and my heart sank. I made the mistake asking him if it was something I did, and he majorly snapped at me saying that he didn’t need another therapy session, (he just had a session with his therapist that say day, and it was a really bad day for him) and this doesn’t need to be about me. He needs to work on self care and himself, and he hung up on me because he was getting really angry. He did say “talk to you later”. This was our first major fight, we normally talk to one another if something bothered us, and communicating was what made our relationship really well. I panicked after he hung up on me, and I texted him how sorry I was to make him upset, it wasn’t my intention, and my heart goes out to him to see how my in pain he was. I then wished him that I hope he finds the peace he is looking for.
I haven’t reached out to him, and I am dying to reach out to him. But he was so depressed and angry, I don’t want to bother him and make things worse. But I am aching so much, I can’t stop crying, and idk what to do. I know giving him space is the best I can do right now. And I feel like I am to blame cause of this anxiety taking over me. If I just left him alone, we would still be talking right now.
I wish I knew to go back in time and take my actions back, but my friend and mother tell me I have done nothing wrong, and it was okay for me worry about him, specially if he has mental health problems. What do I do, any advice would be great, ty for reading this long post, my apologies for it being so long. I truly love this man, and my heart aches, knowing about these current events.
The sad thing is stories like this are probably being repeated all over America. You take a relationship and put it under intense pressure and guess what? A lot of them start to fall apart.
In this case, they’re not seeing each other as much as normal. She’s anxious. He’s under pressure at work, probably because he’s scared he’ll get infected. Things aren’t working as well as normal because the Coronavirus is degrading the supply chain and has increased absenteeism and of course because customers are on edge. Today I was in Lowe’s picking something up and some old guy was literally screaming at customer service. He was clearly agitated because they were dragging their feet on something, but he also noted he didn’t want to be within 6 ft. of anyone else. Imagine dealing with that crap all day long, your normal routine is destroyed and you’re not seeing your girlfriend very often.
Is it a shocker that a guy going through therapy isn’t handling it well? Is it a big surprise that their relationship couldn’t handle it? No, it isn’t. Did she do anything wrong? As she describes it, not really. Sometimes, it’s not a case of right or wrong, it’s just circumstances. All she can really do is give him a little space to clear his head, reach out, and see how it goes, but it’s really hard to say if that will work.