Warren Farrell became interested in the women’s movement and as he learned more about it, he became more and more sympathetic to it. As Farrell heard complaints from women about men, he became interested. Why were men behaving like this? What was the reasoning behind it? Over time, as he did more research, he came up with the answers and turned it into an outstanding book, Why Men Are the Way They Are.
Because the book defends men, some people may assume it’s conservative or anti-woman. Actually, my perception is that Farrell is a little bit to the left-of-center and the book doesn’t take shots at women or feminism. It’s just an intriguing alternative viewpoint with a lot of truth to it that surprisingly few people have previously considered.
Together, we came to understand how we beg men to express feelings, but then when men do express feelings, we call it sexism, male chauvinism, or backlash. — XXVII
Women are still taught to be sexually cautious until two, three, or all four conditions — attraction, respect, emotions, and intellect — are met. Many women add fifth and sixth conditions: singleness and status/success. And many add a seventh, eighth, and ninth: the man must ask her out, he must pay, and he must risk rejection by initiating the first kiss, being the first to hold hands, and so on. (If he doesn’t risk kissing her, she is likely not to kiss him.) Men are socialized to want sex as long as only one condition is fulfilled — physical attraction. — P.13