The Best Quotes From Rollo Tomassi’s “The Rational Male”

Rollo Tomassi’s The Rational Male is a must read book for men and as you read these quotes, you’ll see why.

“I ask you to clear your head of the preconceptions you have of gender because what you’re about to read here are very radical concepts; concepts that will challenge your perspective on women, men, how they interact with each other, and how social structures evolve around those relations. You will violently disagree with some of these concepts, and others will give you that “ah ha!” moment of realization. Some of these concepts will grate on the investment your ego has in certain beliefs about how men and women ought to relate with each other, while others will validate exactly the experiences you may have had personally with them. Some are ugly. Some are not complementary of women and some of men, you’ll think I’m a misogynist on first glance because it’s the default response you’ve been taught to react with. For others, you might feel some kind of vindication for getting burned by your ex and realizing what was at play when it happened. I realize it’s a tall order, but strive not to let your personal feelings color what I lay out for you here.”

“ONEitis: An unhealthy romantic obsession with a single person. Usually accompanied by unreciprocated affection and completely unrealistic idealization of the said person. ONEitis is paralysis. You cease to mature, you cease to move, you cease to be you. There is no ONE. This is the soul-mate myth. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are lots of ‘special someones’ out there for you, just ask the divorced / widowed person who’s remarried after their “soul-mate” has died or moved on with another person they insist is their real soul-mate.”

“THE CARDINAL RULE OF RELATIONSHIPS   In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.”

Trending: He Watched 9 Guys Run a Train On Her & Then Later Married Her

|Learn this now: Women never want full disclosure. Nothing is more self-satisfying for a woman than to think she’s figured a Man out based solely on her mythical feminine intuition (i.e. imagination). When a man overtly confirms his character, his story, his value, etc. for a woman, the mystery is dispelled and the biochemical rush she enjoyed from her imaginings, her suspicions, her self-confirmations about you are gone. Most guys with a Beta male mindset classically do exactly this on the first date and wonder why they get LJBF’d promptly after it – this is why. Familiarity is anti-seductive. Nothing kills Game, organic passion and libido like comfortable familiarity.|

“Always remember, perfect is boring. Women will cry a river about wanting Mr. Dependable and then go off to f*ck Mr. Exciting.”

“Proactive cheating is the Single Mommy dilemma. This form of ‘cheating’ relies on the woman breeding with a Good Genes male, bearing his children and then abandoning him, or having him abandon her, (again through invented social conventions) in order to find a Good Dad male to provide for her and the children of her Good Genes partner to ensure their security. I want to stress again that (most) women do not have some consciously constructed and recognized master plan to enact this cycle and deliberately trap men into it. Rather, the motivations for this behavior and the accompanying social rationales invented to justify it are an unconscious process. For the most part, women are unaware of this dynamic, but are nonetheless subject to it’s influence.”

“Women would rather share a high value Man than be saddled with a faithful loser.”

“You have to be the prize at all times, not just while you’re single. In fact, it’s imperative that you remain so into an (Long term relationship).”

“Anxiety in women is good for men. Even when they make no effort to use it or would never consider it if they knew it’s usefulness it is always present. Everything a woman does on a daily basis is colored by competition anxiety. Make up, clothing, shoes (God, the shoes!), indirect communications with men and women, social contrivances, comparing and evaluating dates and possible suitors, everything is borne from this competitive desire to achieve security with the best possible guy and make damn sure the girl next door doesn’t get him first. This anxiety is analogous to men’s consummate fear of rejection and all of the myriad rationales he’ll create and the Buffers he’ll devise to avoid it.”

“It is socially acceptable for a woman to blatantly spin plates.   Does this sound outrageous? While a woman who makes her sexual practices a bit too overt runs the risk of being perceived as a slut (which is dubious in this age as it is), most relatively attractive women covertly have a constant bullpen of starters ready to go to bat at any one time – these are also known as ‘Orbiters’. Orbiters are the attention providers, the ‘maybe’ guys. It makes little difference in terms of available options which she chooses at any given time, the very fact that she has five or six of them pursuing her is enough to boost her sense of self-worth, her social status within her same-gender peers, and give her the confidence to drop any one of her plates at a moments notice for any reason knowing that 2 or 3 more guys (or 20 more on facebook) stand ready to take his place, no questions asked and prepared rationalizations at the ready.”

“Gentlemen, as I’m fond of saying, women will f*ck. They may not f*ck you, they may not f*ck me, but they will f*ck someone. The girl who bangs the hot guy at the foam party in Cancun on Spring Break within 5 minutes of meeting him is the same girl who wants you to believe that they’ll only f*ck one guy at a time and then after commitment. All women are sexual, you just need to be the right guy at the right time.

“The perception that your attention is sought after increases it’s value – it’s when men are too eager to get with a woman that their attention becomes worthless and interest levels decline.”

“Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you’re not f*cking her, you’re her girlfriend.”

“For the past 60 years feminization has built in the perfect Catch 22 social convention for anything masculine; The expectation to assume the responsibilities of being a man (Man Up) while at the same time denigrating asserting masculinity as a positive (Shut Up). What ever aspect of maleness that serves the feminine purpose is a man’s masculine responsibility, yet any aspect that disagrees with feminine primacy is labeled Patriarchy, ‘Male Privilege’ or Misogyny.”

“The fundamental flaw of the Savior Schema (a.k.a. “Cap’n Save a Ho) is that it is essentially negotiated intimacy, and negotiated intimacy is never genuine. You can fix a woman’s flat tire, help her out of a financial jam, fix her a nice lasagna, give her the perfect shoulder to cry on, babysit her kids and listen to her drone on for hours on the phone, and she’ll still go fuck her outlaw biker boyfriend because her intimacy with him is genuine, unnegotiated, unobligated desire. She wants to have sex with him, she doesn’t owe him sex.”

“We were ‘out of touch with our feelings’. God curse Carl Jung’s rotten corpse to hell for ever convincing popular culture that each sex had equal, but unexpressed, measures of feminine and masculine energies. Western culture has been so saturated with Jungian theory that we don’t recognize it as such. It’s become normalized to believe an idealized goal-state is a genderless, androgynous society.”

“I’ve had a fantastic marriage for over 17 years now, but I’m not going to sugar coat the facts that marriage involves life changing sacrifices for men that no woman will ever fully understand or appreciate. After digging four chapters in here the idea that I may be averse to the institution of marriage would follow. I realize this, and I’ve dealt with it enough on my blog and more than a few community forums, but for the record, I’m not anti-marriage. I’m anti-uninformed, Pollyanna, shoulda’-saw-it-coming, ONEitis fueled, shame induced, bound for bankruptcy, scarred my children, damaged my life, marriage.”

“I think what most men uniquely deceive themselves of is that they will ultimately be appreciated by women for their sacrifices. Learn this now, you wont. You can’t be because women fundamentally lack the capacity to fully realize, much less appreciate the sacrifices a man makes to facilitate her reality. Even the most enlightened, appreciative woman you know still operates in a feminine – centric reality. Men making the personal sacrifices necessary to honor, respect and love her are commonplace. You’re supposed to do those things. You sacrificed your ambitions and potential to provide her with a better life? You were supposed to. You resisted temptation and didn’t cheat on your wife with the hot secretary who was down to f*ck and ready to go? You were supposed to. Your responsibilities to maintaining a marriage, a home, your family, etc. are common – they’re expected. They are only appreciated in their absence, in their lack and in their failing.”

“The concept of appreciation dovetails into a lot of other aspects of intergender relations, so try to bear this in mind as you continue reading. For instance, assume for a moment that a 40 year old Man with the options to pursue younger women ‘does the right thing’ and seeks out a relationship with a woman his own age. Would he be appreciated for essentially giving an aged woman a new lease on life or would he be viewed as doing what is to be expected of him? Would a man who marries a single mother and helps with the parental investment of another man’s child be appreciated more for having done so? Would it even factor into a woman’s estimation of his character, or would he simply doing what’s expected of a man? The question of appreciation is a real quandary for the White Knight.”

“At age 23, while a girl is enjoying her prime SMP value, a man is just beginning to make his own gradual ascent. By age 36, the average man has reached his own relative SMV apex. It’s at this phase that his sexual / social / professional appeal has reached maturity. Assuming he’s maximized as much of his potential as possible, it’s at this stage that women’s hypergamous directives will find him the most acceptable for her long-term investment. He’s young enough to retain his physique in better part, but old enough to have attained social and professional maturity.”

“Nothing is more threatening yet simultaneously attractive to a woman than a man who is aware of his own value to women.”

“Is the woman who applies make up everyday ‘being herself’? How about the woman with implants, is she ‘being herself’? What about the woman wearing high heels because it boosts her height 4 inches? Is the girl you see in nothing but party pics on Facebook being herself? Lets turn it the other way, what of the woman wearing a business suit that emphasizes her shoulders with pads in the jacket is she ‘being herself’? If she colors her hair does this make her less genuine? If being ourselves is an idealized state then I should reasonably be able to expect a like-minded fitness model to be attracted to me even if my greatest passion is to sit on my couch, eat a large pizza and wash it down with a 6 pack of Michelob while watching Monday Night Football, right? After all, I am just being myself – it’s who I am.”

“I hate the term ‘Mixed Signals’ or ‘Mixed Messages’. More often than not there’s nothing ‘Mixed’ being communicated and rather it’s a failure (willful or not) to read what a woman is communicating to a man. The average guy tends to ‘get’ exactly what a woman has implied with her words, but it takes practice to read her behavior and then more practice in self-control to apply it to his own interpretation. When a woman goes from hot to cold and back again, this IS the message – she’s got buyers remorse, you’re not her first priority, she’s deliberating between you and what she perceives is a better prospect, you were better looking when she was drunk, etc. – the message isn’t the ‘what ifs’, the message IS her own hesitation and how her behavior manifests it. Ten dates before sex? This IS the message. Canceling dates? Flaking? Strong interest to weak interest? This IS the message. Women with high interest level (IL) wont confuse you.”

“A cardinal truth of the universe is that genuine desire cannot be negotiated.”

“Over the course of a woman’s life the priorities and criteria a she holds for a ‘suitable’ mate fluctuate in response to the conditions she finds herself in. The criterion for short term coupling are much easier to demand when a woman is in her peak fertility phase of life and thus places these prerequisites above what she would find more desirable for a long-term pairing. The extrinsic male-characteristic prerequisites for short-term sexual strategy (hot, quick Alpha sex) preempts the long-term qualifications for as long as she’s sexually viable enough to attract men. Thus it follows that as a woman exceeds or is outclassed of her previous SMV, her priorities then shift to an attraction for more intrinsic male qualities. For the short-term strategy, quick impulsivity and gratifying sensation take precedent. For the long-term strategy, slow discernment, prudence, familiarity and comfort satisfy a desire for security as she exits the competitive stage of the SMP.”

“The most common words hear newly divorced men utter is some version of ‘I never saw this coming in my wildest imagination, we were married for 20 years, we have 4 kids, how could she be over me so quickly?'”

“Hypergamy doesn’t care how great a Father you are to your kids. Hypergamy doesn’t care how you rearranged your college majors and career choice in life to better accommodate her. Hypergamy doesn’t care how inspired or fulfilled you feel as a stay-at-home Dad. Hypergamy doesn’t care that you moved across 4 states to accommodate your long distance relationship. Hypergamy doesn’t care how ‘supportive’ you’ve always been of her decisions or if you identify as a ‘male feminist’. Hypergamy doesn’t care about the sincerity of your religious convictions or aspirations of high purpose. Hypergamy doesn’t care about those words you said at your wedding. Hypergamy doesn’t care about how you funded her going back to college to find a more rewarding career. Hypergamy doesn’t care how great a guy you are for adopting the children she had with other men. Hypergamy doesn’t care about your divine and forgiving nature in excusing her “youthful indiscretions.” Hypergamy doesn’t care about your magnanimity in assuming responsibility for her student loans, and credit card debt after you’re married. Hypergamy doesn’t care if ‘he was your best friend.’ Hypergamy doesn’t care about the coffee in bed you bring her or how great a cook you are. Hypergamy doesn’t care about all those chick flicks you sat through with her and claimed to like. Hypergamy doesn’t care about how well you do your part of the household chores. Hypergamy doesn’t care about how much her family or friends like you. Hypergamy doesn’t care if you think you’re a ‘Good’ guy or about how convincing your argument is for your sense of honor. Hypergamy doesn’t care whether the children are biologically yours or not. Hypergamy doesn’t care if ‘she was drunk, he was cute, and one thing led to another,..’ Hypergamy doesn’t care how sweet, funny or intellectual you are. Hypergamy doesn’t care if you ‘never saw it coming.’ Hypergamy doesn’t care if you’re bitter.”

“Every divorced man I know has uttered some variation of ‘I never thought she was capable of this.'”

“Iron Rule of Tomassi #3 Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.   When a woman intentionally makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to f*ck you will find a way to f*ck you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, f*ck the sh*t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to f*ck will find a way to f*ck. The girl who tells you she needs to be comfortable and wants a relationship first is the same girl who f*cked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break just half an hour after meeting him.”

“Iron Rule of Tomassi #5 Never allow a woman to be in control of the birth.   It’s called birth control because someone is ‘controlling’ the birth. There are presently 41 different types of contraception available for women, for men there are only 2 – vasectomy or a condom – your only line of defense against her ‘choice’, the only thing separating a man from a lifetime (not just 18 years) of interacting with the decider of altering the course of his life is a thin layer of latex. Always have protection. I’ve had far too many guys hit me with the argument that they implicitly trust their girlfriends to be on the pill or whatever, and that she ‘doesn’t want kids’ only to be an unprepared Daddy nine month later after ‘the accident’. The only accident they had was not being in control of the birth themselves. In fact I’d argue that men need to use extra caution when in an LTR since the ease of getting too relaxed with her is present. Accidental pregnancy is practically a cottage industry now. For a woman without education (or even with) and without means, an ‘unplanned’ pregnancy may be a pretty good prospect, especially when every law and social expectation weighs in her favor.”

“This isn’t a scientific problem, it’s a cultural one. Mothers want to be Mothers. Men are only Fathers when a woman decides this for him even in the happiest of marriages. I think (hope) we’ll see second sexual revolution once a male form of hormonal contraception is tested and available, but you can bet dicks to donuts that every interested party from the religious to the feminist will fight this method’s release to the public at large and come up with every sort of veiled explanation for its demonization in order to put the agency of birth control exclusively into men’s control. I sincerely doubt men will ‘forget to take it’ or have their ‘accidents’ in the numbers women do.”

“Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 It is always time and effort better spent developing relations with new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was. Even if you could go back to where you were, any relationship you might have with an ex will be colored by all of the issues that led up to the breakup. In other words, you know what the end result of those issues has been. It will always be the 800 pound gorilla in the room in any future relationship.”

“The crowning irony of the feminine reality is that men should be accused of patriarchy while enabling the very framework of the feminine imperative. The feminine sexual strategy is victorious because even under the contrived auspices of male oppression, it’s still the female goal-state that is agreed upon as the correct effort. Satisfying the feminine imperative, achieving the ends of the pluralistic feminine sexual strategy is still the normative condition. Men’s goals are aberrant, women’s are beatific.”

“Even the most controlling, domineering wife still wants to tell her friends that the AFC she married is a ‘real Man’, and even after privately berating him, will defend him as such because anything less is a reflection on her own self-image. She wants to be with a Man that other men want to be, and other women want to f*uck, because it confirms for her that she’s of an equal or higher value to attract and be associated with such a Man.”

“In 1905 no one wrote articles on how to ‘be a man’ or bothered to analyze the fundamentals of masculinity. Men knew from their socialization what was masculine and women responded to it.”

“When men become feminized, are we leveling any playing fields or are we progressing towards androgyny and homogenization of gender? The equalist hails this as a triumph of a new gender paradigm. Why should masculine traits be of lower value than feminine traits? The very characteristics that define traditional masculinity – independence, self-confidence, rugged individualism, physical strength, risk taking, problem solving and innovation – we are now to believe are (or should be) the aspirations of women to the point that ridicule of the singularly feminine.”