From David Deida’s classic book for men, ‘The Way of the Superior Man.’
20) “The capacity to face death for the sake of freedom, whether actually in war or ritually on the football field or chessboard, is the ultimate masculine act, evoking men’s deepest emotions.”
19) “It is important for men and women to realize that often the Masculine sexual essence expresses its real love by trying to solve a problem, just as the Feminine sexual essence often tries to solve a real problem by offering emotional support. Men, especially, could learn that trying to solve her “problem” does not necessarily feel like real love to a woman with a Feminine sexual essence. Women, especially, could learn that trying to offer emotional support does not necessarily solve the problems that the Masculine sexual essence is really trying to fix.”
18) “A man’s word is his honor. The feminine says what it feels. A woman’s word is her true expression in the moment.”
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17) “If you want real passion, you need a ravisher and a ravishee; otherwise, you just have two buddies who decide to rub genitals in bed.”
16) As you probably know, your woman is capable of being a witch, a sex slave, an Amazon, a goddess of light, a nurturing mother, a demoness, a luscious lover, a wise teacher, a wild animal, and everything in between. As a general rule, she will keep returning to the energy that you cannot match. For instance, if you are particularly turned off by her anger, she will seem to return, again and again, to the energy of anger. If you are unable to embrace her anger in the ferocity of your loving, transforming her anger into passion, she will continue to test your capacity to do so. Any of her energies that you are unable to transform into love through the force, clarity, and humor of your consciousness will return for you to face, again and again.
15) “By the law of conservation of masculine and feminine energy, whatever masculine gifts you aren’t offering, your woman will naturally try to offer. But since, in truth, your core is masculine, her masculine offerings will most likely turn you off, eventually even repulsing you.”
14) “The more relaxed she is in her feminine, the more radiant your woman will be. You have probably noticed that your woman’s radiance can change instantly. One moment she might seem dull and weary. Then, perhaps after you praise her or surprise her with a gift of love, suddenly she is glowing. She looks 15 years younger. The lines in her face have disappeared in seconds.”
13) “There is something unique about being with a young woman, and all men with masculine sexual essences feel it. You feel rejuvenated by her. Just sitting next to a young woman can make you happy and fill you with life force. You might have nothing in common. But that doesn’t matter. It is her energy that delights and inspires you.”
12) “If you refuse to offer your masculine gift by saying things like, “I don’t really care. It’s up to you,” then she will have to learn to depend on her own masculine capacity. Another way to say this is that she will begin to trust her own masculine more than yours. Then, you will find that she trusts you less and less across the board. She will refuse to surrender to you even sexually because she hasn’t been able to relax and trust you all day; you haven’t offered her your masculine clarity and perspective, so she has to be her own man and give it to herself.”
11) “It is a difficult practice for most men to learn, but you must learn to praise the very qualities you feel are not yet praiseworthy in order for them to become so. In other words, praise the tiny quality that you want to grow.”
10) “The amazing thing is this: 90% of a woman’s emotional problems stem from feeling unloved.”
9) “Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, ‘If I can work enough, then one day I could rest.’ Or, ‘One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining.’ Or, ‘I’m only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life.’ The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won’t. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.”
8) “Your close men friends should be willing to challenge your mediocrity by suggesting a concrete action you can perform that will pop you out of your rut, one way or the other. And you must be willing to offer them your brutal honesty, in the same way, if you are all to grow. Good friends should not tolerate mediocrity in one another. If you are at your edge, your men friends should respect that, but not let you off the hook. They should honor your fears, and, in love, continue to goad you beyond them, without pushing you.”
7) “If a woman feels your feminine is stronger than hers—if she feels that the intimacy is more important to you than to he—then she will naturally animate her masculine. She will want space, she will want freedom to pursue her own direction, and she will be repulsed by your clinginess. You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be in a relationship with you.”
6) “Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today. Every moment waited is a moment wasted, and each wasted moment degrades your clarity of purpose.”
5) “Once she feels your neediness, once she feels that you need her more than she needs you, she will never trust your masculine core.”
4) “The basic rule is this: Don’t believe the literal content of what your woman says unless love is flowing deeply and fully in the moment when she says it. And even then, know that she is probably talking about her current feelings, not necessarily about the subject of whatever she is talking about. Never base your plans on what a woman says she wants to do unless she is in the full flow of love when she says it. And then, expect her to change her mind at any moment when her feelings change.”
3) “Every moment of your life is either a test or a celebration.”
2) “The feminine wants to be filled with love, and if the bliss of real love is not forthcoming, chocolate and ice cream—or a good romantic drama—will do. The masculine wants to feel the bliss of a life lived at the edge, and if he doesn’t have the balls to do it himself, he’ll watch it on TV, in sporting events and cop shows.”
1) “Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship. If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer his full, undivided presence.”
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