I’ve written about the difficulties of long-distance relationships before. So, what happens when that long-distance relationship is in ANOTHER COUNTRY?
I am a 28-year old woman living in New York City. I met a 35-year-old man online and we agreed to meet. I’m 5’ 10″ and he’s 5’ 8″, but height and societal standards of looks, in general, have never influenced me. We had a great time. He planned an awesome date, was so generous (so important to me), and even gave me cash for a taxi home so I wouldn’t have to take the subway. We went out 3 more times that week and the chemistry just grew and grew. THEN, he had to leave.
Yeah. . . He has dual citizenship in America and another country. He grew up here, but his company is based in the other. However, he is in NYC for business 2 weeks out of every month and even slipped that he’d be willing to plant roots here if he had a reason to (wink wink). He was supposed to come back two weeks later, but I wouldn’t be in town because of the Christmas holiday. He moved things around to come in early January when I was back. He even decided to fly into NYC for one day to spend time with me before heading to another city for business for one day and then coming back to NYC. It would’ve made much more sense for him to go straight to the other city, but he wants to see me. Even for a few hours! This meant so much to me, being that my love language is acts of service. He then moved his schedule around so that he could spend his days in meeting and his evenings with me when he is in town. And he kept his whole weekend free for me. He never goes more than one day without being in touch/calling and saying how excited he is to see me again. My love tank is full and I’m basically feeling ready to be his girlfriend. Am I being unwise to feel that he’s boyfriend material even though 4 of the 5 weeks I’ve known him he’s been out of town? Is this doomed from the start?! I feel drawn to him because he’s so consistent. Even more so than guys who live a few blocks from me. Help!
First of all, for the average person, a relationship with another person overseas is a non-starter because they can’t afford to take the time off of work or buy the tickets. In fact, I had a friend who went through this recently. She met a guy overseas, they hit it off, they both started treating it like a relationship and then they realized that they were going to get to see each other once or twice per year tops. That essentially ended their “relationship.”