I love my husband, but I hate his penis. We’ve been married for about 3 years now and I thought I could or would eventually get past it, but I can’t.

A little backstory: He never mentioned his size issue while we were dating and the first time we got intimate, it was a total shock. I embarrassed him on accident when my hand went down to his penis and I grabbed what I though was his thumb and I thought he was messing with me, so I laughed a little and said “Move your hand baby, I wanna feel the real you”. That shut down everything and he got sad and said he’d dealt with this his entire life and I didn’t want him to feel bad so I told him it wasn’t a big deal, all that matters is what we both put into and get out of sex with each other.

We bought toys and I was hoping he’d be able to do SOMETHING for me, but he can’t/wont. He tired at first, we’d use toys for a bit, I’d get my orgasm, and then he’d get his, but now he just hops on, pumps 4 or 5 times, and then is done, I have use the toys myself.

I’m getting sick of toys. I need more. I’m not a size queen, but 2.5 inches and the width of a thumb does nothing for me.

So, what do I do? The way I see it, my options are to suck it up and be sexually frustrated knowing that this is the penis I get for the rest of my life, or…and I don’t really want to do this, but I’m close…cheat on my husband. My ex-husband is still in my life as we have kids together and he was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life and I know he’d go for hooking up once in a while. Is it bad to cheat if it keeps me happy and keeps my relationship with my husband stable? I know that’s a stupid question and the answer is “yes, it’s bad to cheat” but I’m desperate! I LOVE sex! I need to feel something again, so badly.

What do now?

So a few years back, I had a female friend who was in a very similar situation and she was telling me about it. She said the guy was a great boyfriend, treated her well and she enjoyed being around him…..but, there was one problem. He had a micropenis. I asked her what it was like and she said he tried very hard to please her in the bedroom in other ways, but that she couldn’t even feel him when they tried to have sex. So ultimately, despite his best efforts, she was very dissatisfied in the bedroom, BUT, it made her feel shallow to want to check out of the relationship over that. Ultimately, her lack of satisfaction in bed won out over her horror at feeling shallow and she dumped the guy.

Some people might think that’s cruel, but look at the story above and tell me that. Basically, it’s the same story except her fear of feeling shallow won out, she married the guy and now she’s like a week-end or two away from cheating with her ex-husband.

It’s also an extremely difficult situation for him because he has (let’s just call it what it is) a genetic deformity that he is understandably very insecure about and this does not sound like the most sensitive woman on earth, so he’s probably well aware that she’s judging him harshly over it. Hence, his desire to just get it done and move on.