She Told Him He Was Infertile, Got Pregnant & Then Blamed Him For Not Wearing a Condom

Small backstory: I’m 27. I’ve been seeing my f*ck buddy Nate for a year, about every week or so, and I was married for 4 years before him (my husband left me because he realized he wanted to start a family and “he couldn’t do that with me.”) As the title implies, I was told when I was 12 that I am infertile.

I told Nate that I am infertile at the beginning of our relationship. I don’t really date anymore because of what my husband did to me. I told Nate the reality of things; I’m infertile, and I’m exclusive to him (he can see whoever he wants). If he wants to double up on protection, we very well can. If he doesn’t, that’s fine too. He ended up choosing the latter.

Well. I still don’t know how it happened because I was told “with absolute certainty that I cannot get pregnant” (side note, can I do anything with the doctor who’s said this to me; would this be malpractice?). I’ve had pretty bad pregnancy symptoms for at least a month (just didn’t think it was a possibility so it didn’t even enter my mind), so I have no idea how many weeks along I am. My appointment is on Monday to confirm but I’ve taken 3 pregnancy tests already.

I told Nate later that night, and he was less than thrilled. He asked me if I was leaning more towards abortion or adoption, and I told him that honestly, I really don’t think I’d have another chance like this, and I’m thinking about keeping it. He then said and I quote “if you’re keeping it, I’m having absolutely nothing to do with that child; you’re on your own.” I was kinda pissed off because I told him if he wanted to use a condom, he could’ve; he had that choice and he chose not to. He can’t just not have ANY involvement in the child’s life, and I told him this and that he will still contribute financially, and I will take him to court if I have to.

He started calling me horrible names, which is COMPLETELY different than how he normally acts. I no longer felt safe and left his house.

I don’t really want to tell anyone in my personal life, because I have no idea how far along I am, and I don’t want to miscarry and lead to all of this conversation of if I’m infertile/fertile, etc. I feel kind of sh*tty because I can see his side. But at the same time, it’s MY choice. Wanted to come to Reddit to see if I’m being unreasonable

EDIT: My wording was confusing; I edited for clarity. My doctor told me with absolute certainty that I CANNOT get pregnant. That’s why I added the bit in parenthesis

And also, I glossed over the infertile part because it wasn’t necessary. But it’s not like I was told one time “you’re infertile” and this was the last time this medical complication was EVER mentioned again. I don’t want to get too much into specifics, but I have regular check ups with my primary care physicians, including an ob-gyn. We have always operated under the assumptions that I was infertile because of said condition. Jesus Christ, do you guys really think a lifelong complication would’ve been mentioned one time to a 12 year old and that’s it?

Don’t you love how she shifted from telling the guy she can’t get pregnant to, ” I was kinda pissed off because I told him if he wanted to use a condom, he could’ve; he had that choice and he chose not to.” It’s like that great line from Animal House,

Trending: He Watched 9 Guys Run a Train On Her & Then Later Married Her

Once her friend with benefit’s leg was caught in the beartrap, things started to get ugly.

I told Nate later that night, and he was less than thrilled. He asked me if I was leaning more towards abortion or adoption, and I told him that honestly, I really don’t think I’d have another chance like this, and I’m thinking about keeping it. He then said and I quote “if you’re keeping it, I’m having absolutely nothing to do with that child; you’re on your own.” I was kinda pissed off because I told him if he wanted to use a condom, he could’ve; he had that choice and he chose not to. He can’t just not have ANY involvement in the child’s life, and I told him this and that he will still contribute financially, and I will take him to court if I have to.

He started calling me horrible names, which is COMPLETELY different than how he normally acts. I no longer felt safe and left his house.

In a just world, there’s no way this guy would have to pay any child support because she told him something, that she was infertile, that wasn’t true and that resulted in the pregnancy.

Of course, men don’t live in a just world. We live in a world where the family courts are almost cartoonishly slanted against guys and if and when she sues this guy for child support, she will win.

This brings me back to Rollo Tomassi’s Iron Rule of Tomassi #5, “NEVER allow a woman to be in control of the birth.” I don’t care what a woman tells you, if YOU aren’t taking precautions that prevent pregnancy (abstinence, condom & flushing it after, vasectomy, pulling out) there is a chance she’s going to get to pregnant.

If you want to take that risk, that’s fine, but realize that even if you “trust her,” even if she claims she’s on birth control, even if she tells you that she’s “infertile,” there is a non-zero chance you are going to end up as a daddy. Women instinctively, biologically, want to be mommies. If you are absolutely sure you don’t want to be the daddy, then it’s up to you to take steps to prevent it.