Wow, there is just so much to unpack here.
My refusal to help pay and attend my brothers plantation wedding has caused a massive rift between myself,my family and future sil.
My maternal side of the family is white and I am the only black person on that side of my family. My mother had my siblings with her first husband who died of cancer and then she had me after a short lived fling with a Black British man. My brothers are white and so are their partners.
Now I received my wedding invite a little over a week ago and after finding out the wedding venue is at plantation I called my brother and told him how highly disrespectful and cruel it is for them to be planning a celebration at such a place. I told him that I wouldn’t attend and neither would my family. Sometime before my brother had asked me to gift them $10000 to help pay for things, since my brother just overcame cancer and medical bills had eaten up his savings, I happily agreed to this is before I knew it was going to be held at a plantation.