Rocks And Gold: My Wife Wants To Leave Me Without Even Trying Counseling

My wife (31F) wants to leave me (34M) without even trying counseling and I can’t convince her not to pic.twitter.com/qXecMQTm4S

— relationships.txt (@redditships) November 1, 2018

In The Game, Neil Strauss talked about a concept called “rocks and gold.” For the woman, rocks is date night, going to the club, having a nice dinner out and generally being romantic. For men, gold is sex. Do both men and women like rocks and gold? Yes, but women tend to be more fulfilled by the romantic side of things while men tend to care more about the sex. If the rocks or gold is lacking in a relationship, you can be sure that at least one person is really unhappy.

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So this guy assumed she’d always be there and didn’t do the things that made her fall for him in the first place. In other words, he stopped giving her rocks. This is not uncommon by the way. You get a complacent guy and a woman who’s too subtle to make a big deal of it and next thing you know, he’s shocked when she explodes at him or realizes “Gee, we haven’t had sex in 3 months. Maybe there’s something wrong.”

Then the guy wakes up, realizes she means the world to him and…it’s too damn late because she’s fallen “out of love” with him. She may say things that give a guy hope at this point like “I have to protect myself” or “I can’t keep hoping you’ll change,” but once she’s gotten that far, it’s almost certainly game over. Yeah, you MIGHT be able to keep her onboard if you have children and you pull a “Think of the kids” on her, but do you even want to do it once it gets to that point? When a woman adores you, you can say stupid things, make terrible jokes and be an ass half the time and she still thinks you can do no wrong. Once that shine has worn off, you can get yelled at for complimenting her. Once you’re in that spot, it’s going to be a long, hard slog for both of you.

The other thing that many people don’t realize is that men are typically the sentimental ones once a relationship ends or is on the rocks. A woman may fall for a man a lot sooner than a man will fall for a woman, but a man tends to be more sentimental for the woman he’s fallen for. Like Oscar Wilde said, “When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her.” On the other hand, if it doesn’t end on the best of terms, the woman is just as likely as not to stick you in the same category as the creepy mailman who stares at her all the time.

So if you’re looking up at the sky thinking about some woman who broke your heart and going, “Wow, I wonder if she’s looking up at the sky somewhere and thinking of me just like I’m thinking of her,” the answer is, “No, she’s not thinking of you at all. In fact, the next time she thinks of you will be when she’s telling her girlfriends how much she likes her new boyfriend because he doesn’t leave his socks on the couch / ignore her / take 2 minutes in bed like you did.” Hate to say it (34M), but that’s your future.

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John Hawkins
John Hawkins created Rightwingnews.com in 2001; built it up to a top 10,000 in the world website; created a corporation with more than 20 employees to support it; created a 3.5 million person Facebook page; became one of the most popular conservative columnists in America; was published everywhere from National Review to Human Events, to Townhall, to PJ Media, to the Daily Wire, to The Hill; wrote a book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know that was at one point top 50 in the self-help section on Amazon; did hundreds of hours as a guest on radio shows, raised $611,000 in a GoFundMe for Brett Kavanaugh’s family and has been talked about everywhere from The New York Times to Buzzfeed, to the Washington Post, to Yahoo News, to the Rush Limbaugh Show, to USA Today. After seeing the unjust way that Brett Kavanaugh was treated during his hearings and how a lifetime worth of good work was put at risk by unprovable allegations, John Hawkins decided to create a men’s website. Welcome to Brass Pills!

 

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