Psychology Today: Know What’s Like Rape? Trying to Talk Your Wife Into Sex

There is a concerted effort among feminists to basically define “rape” as anything a woman wants. If the man and woman both drink and have sex, then it’s rape. If the woman willingly has sex with the man but doesn’t give verbal consent every step of the way, it’s rape. If the woman willingly has sex but later changes her mind, it’s rape.

Towards that end, “coercion” is supposedly the latest form of rape. That’s a pretty neat trick, isn’t it? Women want men to be the ones that initiate in every phase of the relationship, but if you initiate, you risk engaging in coercion, which means it’s rapey. So says Wendy Patrick in Psychology Today anyway.

Many couples who have been together for many years would never characterize sexual pressure from their partner as sexual assault. But where is the line? I have prosecuted spousal rape cases that were not revealed to law enforcement for months or even years after the fact. There are several reasons for such reluctance; one simple reason involves perception.

Within established relationships, particularly when there is no violence, victims question their perception of unwanted intimacy, asking themselves whether the behavior was criminal or consensual, and acknowledging that their perception is influenced by their intention to maintain the relationship.

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…Judy M. Ross et al. note that the definition of sexual aggression has expanded to include coerced sexual activity within established relationships.[i] They recognize how this behavior is different from forcible sexual assault, and cite prior research explaining how these acts “generally involve repeatedly begging or pressuring an individual who is resisting sexual activity until he or she consents, often to end the coercive behavior or preserve the relationship.”

Ross et al. recognize that manipulation is more frequently the tactic of choice in sexually coercive situations as opposed to physical force, which is traditionally linked with sexual assault. They describe coercive scenarios within relationships as including a partner engaging in persistence tactics potentially including “repeated begging, continually trying to arouse the other partner, threatening to end the relationship or seek sex elsewhere, or attempting to elicit sympathy.”

In order for you to fully understand how cuckoo all of this is, let’s consider some scenarios that would be considered rape under this standard.

— “Honey please, I’d really love to have sex tonight. We’ve both been working and I really miss being with you.” = rape.

— “I’ve had a really hard day at work, I pulled my calf this afternoon, my team lost the big game. It has been a lousy day. I tell you what would make me feel better. Maybe a little sexy time. Wearing my favorite outfit? You know the one…” = rape.

— “Listen, I am too young to stay in a sexless marriage. If you don’t want to have sex, I will find a woman that does.” = rape

— “Hey baby, why don’t I run a nice, hot bath for you. I’ll rub your shoulders the way you like. Maybe we can put on some romantic music, I’ll give you a massage and whatever happens, happens.” = rape

Only someone who hates men or alternately, humanity itself, could embrace a standard like this where something as horrible as rape could become so arbitrary and trivial. How would you even date in this situation when you’d have to watch every conversation to make sure that nothing you said could technically be considered “coercion-style rape” somehow.

Let me suggest something that I don’t hear said very often. If you need this level of protection to engage in sex, maybe you need to work on yourself to be better prepared to be intimate with another human being. Because if you have this idea that the relationship is supposed to be all about what you want all the time, then you are not ready to be in a relationship. You have to take the other person’s wants and feelings into account, at least to a degree. That includes when you’re talking about sex and if you can’t deal with that, then you’re not ready to be in a relationship. A man has every right to try to talk his partner into having sex and she has every right to say “no.” But there’s also nothing at all wrong with her deciding to take one for the team to make her partner happy sometimes. That sort of give and take is just part of being in a relationship. So I really wish these damaged people would stop trying to screw everything else up for the rest of us by turning the fact that they don’t feel comfortable dealing with other human beings into a legal/political correctness issue for all of humankind. Fix yourself and the problem will go away.

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John Hawkins
John Hawkins created Rightwingnews.com in 2001; built it up to a top 10,000 in the world website; created a corporation with more than 20 employees to support it; created a 3.5 million person Facebook page; became one of the most popular conservative columnists in America; was published everywhere from National Review to Human Events, to Townhall, to PJ Media, to the Daily Wire, to The Hill; wrote a book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know that was at one point top 50 in the self-help section on Amazon; did hundreds of hours as a guest on radio shows, raised $611,000 in a GoFundMe for Brett Kavanaugh’s family and has been talked about everywhere from The New York Times to Buzzfeed, to the Washington Post, to Yahoo News, to the Rush Limbaugh Show, to USA Today. After seeing the unjust way that Brett Kavanaugh was treated during his hearings and how a lifetime worth of good work was put at risk by unprovable allegations, John Hawkins decided to create a men’s website. Welcome to Brass Pills!

 

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