Is She Wrong To Let Her Little Brother Stay Homeless?

An awful lot of people end up with some variation of this story in their lives. The relationship could be a brother, but it could just as easily be a sister, a friend or even a parent. Eventually, the decision you face is always the same…

I (F26) feel terrible for cutting off all contact with my younger brother (M25) and letting him stay homeless. from relationships

In your life, you are going to run into people who perpetually create the same problems in their lives. Whether it’s because of drugs, alcohol, mental issues, bad morals, entitlement, stubbornness — SOMETHING — they keep having the same issues over and over again. You can help them out, sympathize, give them advice, go above and beyond and it does no good because they keep repeating the same patterns that got them into trouble in the first place. Eventually, if you aren’t careful, they can take so much energy, time, attention or money that it starts to negatively impact your life. At some point, you start to wonder if you are actually ENABLING this bad behavior because you are constantly rubbing salve on the same wounds they keep making in their lives.

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So, is she doing the right thing? Yes, she is. Would she be doing the right thing even if he hadn’t been abusive to his girlfriend? Absolutely. Because when a person keeps slamming his head into the same issues, over and over, like a moth hitting a porch light and it starts sucking the joy out of your life to help him, you need to let him hit bottom. Don’t “save” him. Don’t stop him from getting his just deserts, let it happen. That can be scary when it’s people you care about because you can’t know for sure how long it will take for them to hit bottom or whether they will bounce back or just destroy themselves. The unfortunate thing is, for some people, truly experiencing the full consequences of their own actions is the only chance they have to get better and have a decent life. It can be a very hard decision to make, but at least it gives them a chance to change, which enabling their bad behavior will never do.

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John Hawkins
John Hawkins created Rightwingnews.com in 2001; built it up to a top 10,000 in the world website; created a corporation with more than 20 employees to support it; created a 3.5 million person Facebook page; became one of the most popular conservative columnists in America; was published everywhere from National Review to Human Events, to Townhall, to PJ Media, to the Daily Wire, to The Hill; wrote a book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know that was at one point top 50 in the self-help section on Amazon; did hundreds of hours as a guest on radio shows, raised $611,000 in a GoFundMe for Brett Kavanaugh’s family and has been talked about everywhere from The New York Times to Buzzfeed, to the Washington Post, to Yahoo News, to the Rush Limbaugh Show, to USA Today. After seeing the unjust way that Brett Kavanaugh was treated during his hearings and how a lifetime worth of good work was put at risk by unprovable allegations, John Hawkins decided to create a men’s website. Welcome to Brass Pills!

 

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