If You’re The One Always Reaching Out to Your Friends, Are They Really Your Friends?

That’s basically the question this guy is asking:

Just wondering, since I’ve never understood this and got an idea that maybe some people here could help me understand. I value my friends, and I regularly ask them (once every few weeks) how they’re doing. We’ve been friends a long time, over a decade with each of them.

Q1: Now, to me that’s a way to show that I care about how they’re doing. However, a few of them never do this back. Literally if I wasn’t in contact, I’m not sure how long it would take for them to even become aware. Haven’t tried it yet, I’m not sure I’ll like the result. I’m not clingy, everything is normal, we are fine, and still. Does this not mean that they just don’t really give a shit? Or can this be something else? I’m starting to have feelings that maybe I need some better friends.

Q2: When someone messages me, I have been taught, it’s polite to respond. However, occasionally when messaging people who I know aren’t busy at the time (and even if they were, they could do this afterwards) they simply don’t respond. The same people who I think are my friends and whom I believe feel the same. To me, it’s just plain rude not to respond at all. Can there be another explanation for this (aside from being busy, it’s not the case with these people all the time, year in year out.) Now just to make it clear: they respond if I ask them something directly, but if I just comment on something, make a joke about last night’s funny incident or whatever, occasionally with a few of them there’s nothing.