This question comes from a Facebook page I frequent: “I’m not a naturally masculine guy. How can I fix this without pretending to be someone I am not? Have any of you had this problem?”
The answer to this question is a mixture of good news and bad news. The good news is that becoming more masculine is simple. The bad news is that it takes a while and it’s not easy.
Why do I say it’s simple? Because there are lots of examples of masculinity out there. Just think about what makes the characters John Wayne, Steven Seagal, and Clint Eastwood portray on the Silver Screen as masculine? Why do we think of Navy Seals or cage fighters as masculine? What makes a man a tough guy, an Alpha male or a good leader? There are tons of articles and books on the subject and although some of them are off, you are going to get a good general idea of what people consider to be masculine from them.
Then comes the hard part — being more masculine. I can give you a lot of suggestions in that area — learning to shoot, lifting weights & taking martial arts among them. Spend time around masculine guys. I can recommend books to you. For example, here are 10 Books Every Young Man Should Read. There are articles on this very website that will help as well. Like, For Men: What’s Masculine vs. What’s Feminine, Are You an Alpha or a Beta Male? Take Our 20-Question Quiz and Find Out or 5 Reasons Masculinity Is Increasingly Coming Under Attack in America. In fact, just reading through the whole masculinity section would be a good idea.
The thing is any man can become masculine, but it takes time, effort and a mentality change. That doesn’t happen overnight, but if you are committed, it can happen and I think it’s worth it. Masculinity is something that pays off in respect, respect for yourself and respect from others. It’s well worth the effort.