If She’s Really Interested, You Aren’t Going to Be Confused

Conventionally, this is about a guy and his cheating girlfriend, but I think there’s a deeper (and more interesting) lesson:

I’ll keep it short. I’ve known this girl a long time, we were really close friends for a few years and started dating around 2 years ago. For the most part our relationship has been pretty much perfect… until a few weeks back. A few weeks ago this guy I knew back in high school (24M) moved into town so I invited him to hang out. My gf wanted to come along too since she had nothing better to do that night which is fine, I’m happy to have her with me. They hit it off really well – almost too well, but I didn’t think anything of it because I trust her and also this guy has a girlfriend he’s been with a lot longer than I’ve been with mine. She gave him her number which made me kind of nervous (she’s never done that with any of my friends before – if they exchange contacts it’s because the friend asked, not her) but again, I had no reason to distrust her so I just let it be.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, and she keeps talking about him every now and then even though we haven’t hung out with him since that first time… I know I shouldn’t be invading my gf’s privacy but I was starting to get a bad feeling in my gut something’s happening, and reading the messages between them confirmed that completely. It was pretty clear looking at the messages that 1) They’ve been hooking up for a while… STARTING LITERALLY A FEW DAYS AFTER THE FIRST MEETING and 2) He makes no effort to even talk to her like a human being, gives her one word replies or even just ignores her when she’s trying to have a conversation and just asks her to come over or meet him somewhere every now and then. He’s basically using her like a sex toy and she seems to be completely OK with that.

This guy is objectively pretty traditionally attractive, he’s tall and muscular while I’m average height and on the skinny side. My gf always made it sounds like she’s into how I look but clearly that was a lie. I’ve always been a little insecure about my looks/attractiveness and this is just destroying me. Getting cheated on is bad enough, but to make things worse I really had to work for it and make sincere effort while this guy is just treating her like a c*m dump and she can’t seem to get enough of it?? Even though we’ve only been together the last 2 years I’ve had a crush on her pretty much ever since I first met her, and in every way this relationship seemed perfect. I honestly can’t imagine life without her even though I know the smart thing to do is probably to end things. I don’t know if I can forgive her for this, and I don’t know if I want to. I just feel so incredibly lost

I think we all know the answer to this guy’s dilemma and it’s “dump her and move on.”

Easy-Peasy.

Here’s the really intriguing part: