How Can He Get Over His Romantic Feelings For His Best Friend?

Via Reddit, here’s a superficially confusing story that seems much more complicated than it actually is…

Okay, so my best friend and I have known each other since our sophomore year of HighSchool. In those times, we have admitted we liked each other, but circumstances never let anything ever develop. So we settled on being best friends. But, as the stereotype goes, I wasn’t able to move on from those feelings. Over the years, she’s gone through a few breakups. One she started dating 6 months after we met and only broke up with in January. Now, this guy was emotionally abusive. And she’s still dealing with trauma from him. She’s gone through a few other breakups in the past 9 months, trying to rebound. Recently, I moved across the United States, but we still keep in touch and talk every day. A few weeks ago, I confessed that I still liked her, and she said that she still liked me as well. However, she said she was too afraid to hurt me. Which I feel now was kinda bs, but rose colored glasses and all. We kept talking about it, and she eventually told me that she needed to focus on herself, which I respect. And I told her that I still want to be her best friend. Which I do, especially when she claimed I was the one stable thing in her life throughout the years.

So, my question is this. How can I get over someone who never wronged me? I also don’t want to leave her or stop talking because she honestly needs the emotional support, especially right now. How can I get over her? Maybe me being in community college now will help?

TLDR: Best Friend And I confessed we liked each other, but it just isn’t going to work out. How can I get over someone who never wronged me, while still being there for her?

So they have known each other for 3 years, he considers her his best friend, they talk every day and both of them have admitted that they’re romantically attracted to the other. But now, he’s across the country. He suspects it isn’t going to work out, but he doesn’t know how to get over her. What does he do in this confusing situation?

Well, first of all, it’s not all that confusing because she is not romantically interested in him. Do you know how I know that? Because they’ve known each over for 3 years, they get along, she knows he’s interested in her and she’s had multiple opportunities to be with him, but it has never happened. Why is that? Because she doesn’t want it to happen. If she had wanted it to happen, it would have happened.

But wait, you’re saying. Why would she SAY she’s interested in him when she isn’t? There could be a lot of reasons. She might be using it as a tool to ensure he keeps talking to her. She might like feeling desired. Maybe she really likes him as a human, but he doesn’t turn her on. You can go on and on with the speculation, but it doesn’t make any difference.