Via Reddit, here’s a superficially confusing story that seems much more complicated than it actually is…
Okay, so my best friend and I have known each other since our sophomore year of HighSchool. In those times, we have admitted we liked each other, but circumstances never let anything ever develop. So we settled on being best friends. But, as the stereotype goes, I wasn’t able to move on from those feelings. Over the years, she’s gone through a few breakups. One she started dating 6 months after we met and only broke up with in January. Now, this guy was emotionally abusive. And she’s still dealing with trauma from him. She’s gone through a few other breakups in the past 9 months, trying to rebound. Recently, I moved across the United States, but we still keep in touch and talk every day. A few weeks ago, I confessed that I still liked her, and she said that she still liked me as well. However, she said she was too afraid to hurt me. Which I feel now was kinda bs, but rose colored glasses and all. We kept talking about it, and she eventually told me that she needed to focus on herself, which I respect. And I told her that I still want to be her best friend. Which I do, especially when she claimed I was the one stable thing in her life throughout the years.
So, my question is this. How can I get over someone who never wronged me? I also don’t want to leave her or stop talking because she honestly needs the emotional support, especially right now. How can I get over her? Maybe me being in community college now will help?
TLDR: Best Friend And I confessed we liked each other, but it just isn’t going to work out. How can I get over someone who never wronged me, while still being there for her?
So they have known each other for 3 years, he considers her his best friend, they talk every day and both of them have admitted that they’re romantically attracted to the other. But now, he’s across the country. He suspects it isn’t going to work out, but he doesn’t know how to get over her. What does he do in this confusing situation?
Well, first of all, it’s not all that confusing because she is not romantically interested in him. Do you know how I know that? Because they’ve known each over for 3 years, they get along, she knows he’s interested in her and she’s had multiple opportunities to be with him, but it has never happened. Why is that? Because she doesn’t want it to happen. If she had wanted it to happen, it would have happened.
But wait, you’re saying. Why would she SAY she’s interested in him when she isn’t? There could be a lot of reasons. She might be using it as a tool to ensure he keeps talking to her. She might like feeling desired. Maybe she really likes him as a human, but he doesn’t turn her on. You can go on and on with the speculation, but it doesn’t make any difference.
If you want to know what a woman really thinks, watch what she consistently does. If you are ever regularly puzzled by a woman’s behavior, just ask yourself what conclusions you’d reach if you paid attention to how she behaved and ignored what she said and then you will understand exactly what’s going on.
As to how to get over it, there’s a tried and true formula both sexes use for getting over someone. It’s not foolproof, but it generally works and it’s called, “Go find someone else.” When you find someone else you like, your body releases chemicals, you feel better and next thing you know you haven’t thought about that old boyfriend or girlfriend in a week because you’ve been too busy thinking about how sexy your new girl looks when she smiles.