His Wife is Pregnant After An Affair & Wants Him to Pretend to Be the Dad

I know what my answer would be to this question posed to the Sun’s advice columnist,

MY wife had an affair while I was wrapped up in my work.

Now she’s pregnant and wants me to take on the child as my own. That’s a big ask.

I’m 41 and she’s 36. We have sons aged seven and nine.

I’m trying to stay calm and do the right thing.

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I have been offered a lucrative job in the US. Should I take the whole family with me or divorce her and just take my boys?

The new baby’s dad is not a nice guy and says he won’t give permission for his child to leave the country.

Is it impossible to make a marriage work after one partner cheats? Nope. But, once it happens, that ultimate betrayal is always in the background and the near impossibility of trusting her again in the foreseeable future is layered over the top of the other issues that led to the cheating. The reality is, unless someone is extremely damaged, she’s not going to be cheating if everything is going well. If there were no children involved, it’s almost always going to be better to cut your losses. However, some people will try to ride it out anyway, usually for the children.

In this case, the problems are compounded because his wife got pregnant while she was cheating. Worse yet, she wants him to “take on the child as my own.” Given the high likelihood that the marriage is going to implode after her cheating, this sounds like a recipe for paying extra child support in a few years in the highly likely event that they get divorced. Worse yet if he agrees to this, he’ll be stuck with the other kid’s dad in his life and he seems ready and willing to cause problems.

Divorce is a highly personal subject, especially since as a man, the courts are heavily rigged against him. If this is a guy with a lucrative job, he might be too confident that he can just divorce her, take the boys and move back to the states without the mom getting at least partial custody and a large child support check despite her cheating. It might not turn out so well. That being said, if it were me, I’d cut her loose, take the kids, move to the states, get a nanny and hope for the best.

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John Hawkins
John Hawkins created Rightwingnews.com in 2001; built it up to a top 10,000 in the world website; created a corporation with more than 20 employees to support it; created a 3.5 million person Facebook page; became one of the most popular conservative columnists in America; was published everywhere from National Review to Human Events, to Townhall, to PJ Media, to the Daily Wire, to The Hill; wrote a book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know that was at one point top 50 in the self-help section on Amazon; did hundreds of hours as a guest on radio shows, raised $611,000 in a GoFundMe for Brett Kavanaugh’s family and has been talked about everywhere from The New York Times to Buzzfeed, to the Washington Post, to Yahoo News, to the Rush Limbaugh Show, to USA Today. After seeing the unjust way that Brett Kavanaugh was treated during his hearings and how a lifetime worth of good work was put at risk by unprovable allegations, John Hawkins decided to create a men’s website. Welcome to Brass Pills!

 

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