This story is a little outside of our wheelhouse, but it was just too weird in a good way to pass up:
How do I (24M) convince my sister (31F) that I don’t want to f*ck her fiance (~30M)
I know the title sounds strange. I’ll try to be concise with all of the context. I [24m] have a sister [31F], and due to the age gap, we were never close. We grew up in the US, but after college, my sister moved to Europe. I haven’t seen her much since she was 18 (and I was ~11), but because we weren’t very close, we were fine with the occasional texting and every-other-year Christmas visits.
Two very important pieces of context for this story. The first is that, even with the age gap, we look EXTREMELY alike. In the few times she’s been home since I was older (~16 and ~23) people have commented that we could be twins. The second is that I am 100% straight. I’ve only ever dated girls, and have never been interested or experimented with men in any way. I’ve been with the same girl since I was 21.
Ok, so onto the main story. About a year ago, my sister met her fiancé, who I’ll call Rob. I met Rob for the first time this Christmas. We quickly bonded over a shared hobby (Runescape, lol). We chatted a ton while he was here, and because it was Christmas, we were usually drinking. He seemed a little touchy (touching my arm / my back, laughing a lot, a few oddly-timed hugs). I thought nothing of it, maybe that’s just how Europeans are (I’ve never been).
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Anyway, they went back to Europe just after New Years, and Rob and I have been casually chatting on WhatsApp (mostly about video games). Then one day, he stopped responding to my messages. A few days later, I asked my sister if he was OK. She said yes, but she needed to talk to me. We agreed to FaceTime the following night.
To keep it short, here’s what my sister told me. Rob found me extremely attractive. Apparently, because he’s attracted to my sister, he also found me attractive (we look a lot alike), and is now questioning his sexuality. Like… I was some sort of gay stepping stone?? My sister said they are going to work things out, but she asked that I stay away from Rob. I figured I rarely see them and this was all bizarre, so I agreed. She also asked me to promise I’d never f*ck Rob. Which is insane, because not only am I straight, but the implication is that I’d f*ck my sister’s fiancé unless I was told not to. I told her she was being ridiculous, and I’d never do that. We got into an argument because I wouldn’t specifically agree not to f*ck him. I asked why HE wasn’t being held accountable, it should be HIS job to leave me alone. He’s the one who wants to f*ck me, I’m not attracted to him at all! I was told I wouldn’t be invited to her wedding. She hung up on me after I told her Rob would probably cheat on her with someone in Europe if she wasn’t even sure he wouldn’t f*ck her own brother.
It’s been about a week since this happened and IDK what to do. We haven’t talked since. Neither me or my sister has told my parents, but it will definitely hit a boiling point when wedding invitations go out. What the f*ck do I do? Should I apologize and promise I won’t f*ck Rob to smooth things over?
Also, just to be clear: I find nothing wrong with being gay/bi, or anything else. None of this post is coming from a place of me being upset for being “accused of not being straight” or something like that
EDIT: I’ll be speaking to my parents about it tonight, mostly because I’m worried my sister may try to frame this situation differently. I’ll be showing them this post, as well as the message Rob sent me since I posted here. Will update in a few days.
This is a particularly strange one for me because when I was in high school, there was a girl a couple of years behind me that I thought was cute. Then a few weeks later, I ran into her brother who looked almost EXACTLY like her in the face. At that moment, the attraction switch instantaneously and irrevocably flipped off and if she had been naked in front of me begging for sex, I would have passed.
On the other hand, the fiance had the same experience and he went gay… or did he? Because I have a really hard time believing that a genuinely straight guy, out of the blue, could meet a man that he was so attracted to that it would turn him gay. What seems much more likely was that this kind of thing was already a secret fantasy of his and meeting his fiance’s brother got him excited enough to bring it into the light.
Additionally, there are multiple issues orbiting around his sister thinking that he would have sex with her fiance. First of all, if she thinks her fiance is apparently VERY WILLING to cheat with her brother, who else is he willing to cheat with? If they get married, is her fiance going to be living a creepy secret life? Sneaking off to bathhouses and hitting Grindr while she’s having a girl’s night out? Also, let me note that the fact that his sister thinks her own brother — her own STRAIGHT BROTHER — is going to have sex with her fiance is bizarre. The very fact that she’s thinking that suggests she has some issues of her own. Now consider that their parents are about to get involved and this mess is going to get worse.
With all that in mind, to sum it up, I agree with what her brother said in the comments section of his post, “There’s no way that your fiance tells you they want to f*ck your brother, and then you get married happily ever after lol.” Her fiance telling her that he was sexually attracted to her brother was like dropping a neutron bomb on their relationship and it will be miraculous if it all somehow works out. I wish both this guy and his sister all the luck in the world in cleaning up this mess and I suspect they’re going to need it.