Some people just don’t get it:
My childhood friend cheated on his gf last summer with multiple partners. He just told me they’re about to get married and she still has no idea.
My childhood friend Brandon and I grew up together and our families know each other. He’s like a big brother to me. He’s been dating his current girlfriend for 5 years, and he was absolutely obsessed with her in the beginning of the relationship.
Brandon and I went on a trip last summer to meet with some of his friends for his birthday. I stayed at one of his female friend’s (Katy) apartment. Usually, Brandon and Katy would take me out to parties or events, and we’d all hang out with a big group until late night.
One particular day, Brandon told me to have Katy show me around while he went and ran some “errands”. Okay, I didn’t think much of it. Later into the night, me and Katy were both pretty drunk and she tells me that I should call Brandon to come back to “prevent him from doing something bad”. I was like what do you mean? And she says that he’s not running errands, he’s fucking an old fling right now. I was furious. I never pictured him as the type to cheat.
Me and Katy devised a plan to force Brandon to come back by saying I was lost at the club and couldn’t find Katy, and that I’m drunk and scared (shitty to lie but I thought it would stop him from fucking another girl).
Sure enough, Brandon came back and was obviously irritated but said nothing because he still thought I didn’t know.
When we got back to the US, we were hanging out one night and I decided to fess up on what me and Katy did that one night. He just shook his head and laughed like I’m an idiot.
He told me that him and KATY had been sleeping together every time I wasn’t at the apartment and that I’d been played because she was just jealous of his old fling. He didn’t even feel bad about it because to him, a relationship meant no serious commitment until marriage, and he believed that his gf “knew but just turned a blind eye to it”. He said that’s what he loved about his gf because she gives him time and space to grow up. He said he only loves her and that all other girls were just physical.
He also said that his wreckless actions would only last until marriage, and the cheating would stop because he is deciding to sign his entire asset to his gf and list out terms that say “if I cheat, she gets all my money”.
Now, they actually are about to get married. I feel so bad for his gf but I don’t know if it’s my secret to tell. It feels like I’m sticking my nose into someone else’s business. But I also feel for the poor girl. If I tell her, our family’s relationship is doomed and my mom would definitely kill me for meddling too. Maybe ignorance is bliss?
What should I do Reddit? Mind my own business or potentially wreck havoc by exposing my childhood friend?
Tldr; childhood friend cheated on gf on a trip i was on. he may have even done so multiple times with multiple people. they’re about to get married and idk if i should tell her (i don’t even know her that well but i feel bad for her). it’s not my secret to tell and it would break our family’s relationship.
First of all, there is more misery and deception going on in the world than our puny, human minds can even comprehend. If you truly knew how much screwed up bullsh*t and horror was going on in the lives of the people around you in a crowded restaurant or a Wal-Mart, it would probably send you to a therapist.
That begs a question. How much of everyone else’s problems do you want to make YOUR PROBLEM? If you’re talking about your close friends or your family, you may willing to put yourself out there a little bit. Once you get beyond that, you need to be very cautious about inserting yourself into other people’s business. Again, that doesn’t mean you should NEVER do it, but “be very cautious” means “be very cautious.”
For one thing, it’s not your place. It’s a good way to make enemies or in this case, lose a friend and I hate to tell you this, but it’s usually not appreciated by the person you are “helping.” I have seen this dynamic play out so many times. Girls laugh at the “white knights” who try to defend them online. Women will often lie to the police to protect a guy beating them if a stranger tries to step in. The woman who gets told about cheating gets mad at the person telling them. Does it play out that way every time? Nope, but it sure does happen a lot.
Furthermore, in this case, what about his responsibility to his friend? Your friend tells you something in confidence and you’re going to try to use it to blow up his relationship with his fiance? Just hearing that story would make any friend you have with half a brain run for the hills. He should let their problems be their problems instead of trying to make them his problems.