I (27F) met my now-fiancé (28F) five years ago, we started dating three years ago, and five months ago, she proposed! I couldn’t be happier. She is fantastic and has the best smile and someone who I can see myself spending the rest of my life with. However, there are some complications. I have always been a forward thinking person, while she is more impulsive. Most of the time, I love that about her, and we balance each other out, but it also can mean there’s tension.
Earlier, I proposed signing a prenuptial agreement when the time came in order to plan for our future. Her face dropped, and she asked me if I planned on getting divorced, to which I firmly denied. In the ensuing conversation, I tried to reiterate that I we didn’t know what the future held, and I wanted to keep all possible options in mind, and that I planned to never use it (just like having a failsafe). She took it more as that I saw her as optional, and by planning for the possibility of things not working out I was “putting it into motion.” I get where she’s coming from, it’s not exactly the nicest thing to hear your fiancé is imagining a future where you break up, but I never want that to happen.
We also have family history that has shaped us. My own parents are divorced, and many of my relatives have also experienced marital problems, so maybe this is a thing that I have internalized? She comes from a culture that doesn’t really “do divorce” which may have changed her perception. It’s not as much an issue of money, we make about the same at our respective jobs, which also may lead her to feel bad