You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family…
My brother accused my wife (now ex wife) of trying to kill him by burning his house down while he was sleeping. How can I fix our relationship? (Long)
In the summer 2007 I (45m)was married to my now ex wife when my brothers(43m)house was set on fire in early hours around 3am, while he and his fiancé were sleeping. The house that he was living in was a house that he had bought recently from my then wife’s parents. My wife grew up in this house with her sister and brother so, lots of history and my wife’s parents were happy to keep the house within the family. The house was initially offered to my wife and I but we declined as were were already established in a house of our own. My wife, 3 children, our dog and I lived in our house about couple miles away. My parents lived in another house a few streets down right in between my brother and I. I had even gotten my brother a job at the company I work for, we all hung out and talked often and I felt we were all a pretty close family.
When we found out his house was set on fire we were all shocked and curious as I think anyone would be. My brother and his fiancé sustained no physical injuries but were displaced from the house due to the significant damage. The fire department came quickly and was able to put out much of the fire. We were told by police investigators that someone had poured gasoline around the back of the house and set it on fire. Police questioned neighbors and family members if anyone knew or saw anything but due to the time the fire was set, most people were sleeping so police didn’t really have much to go on. Then about a month later, while nobody was living in the house, in the early morning hours it was set on fire again. The fire department comes, puts out the fire. Again police questioned neighbors, family members and again not much to go on. A few more weeks go by, the house still being empty, gets set on fire for the third time. The story was all over local television, online and in local newspapers. My brother was so distraught and everyone was just in complete shock and disbelief. The whole community was on edge because there was an arsonist at large and police really started looking at people my brother knew rather than some random vandals. Police said they felt this was personal.
Police showed up at my front door to question me about the fires and if I had any information on them or if I knew anyone that would want to harm my brother in any way and asked me if they could look around the house. Without a warrant, I walked the police through my entire house. My brother also contacted me stating that the police would like a statement and fingerprints from my wife and I and if I could just shoot down to the police station and do that, that it would be a huge help to the investigation. Without attorney, I then called the police and set up a time to meet with them to give a statement and fingerprints. I then had to cancel and reschedule that meeting due to the fact that I was working two jobs, my wife was in nursing school and we had 3 boys, which 2 of them played baseball, to schedule a more suitable time for everyone. Our daily schedule was chaotic. My brother took extreme offense to that, saying that I didn’t make it a priority to get down to the police station and that he would’ve done whatever I needed from him if roles were reversed. I was a little taken back but went down to the station with my wife, without attorney and we both gave statements and fingerprints.