This is one Hell of a story and I just had a feeling that the guy who wrote it would delete it. He did, but I copied it first. So, here’s to quick thinking!
My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We have had an amazing relationship thus far and I couldn’t ask for a better woman and mother. However, there is one dark cloud hanging over us that may be enough to end what we’ve built.
You see, my girlfriend is very active in black rights; mainly via social media. Now, before you read on, I am too! We aren’t out on the streets marching, but we both believe in equality for everyone. The problem is, she spends so much time concentrating on injustice in the black community and white privilege, that she then projects her feelings on to me.
For the first two years of our relationship, we would have open debates about all types of different social injustices. Now, don’t get me wrong, during that time, I was very defensive. I never wanted to be coined a “racist” for any reason. Through my defensiveness, we had many fights.
Over the years, I have grown, and so has she. I’ve learned to listen and then respond. This had helped a lot for a long time. We both began to be on the same page. But, lately, it’s like a fire has been lit under her. Now, it seems as if everyday I’m being reminded of my “white privilege”. I’m being reminded of how difficult it is for her in her everyday life. I’m berated at night for being white. If I try to engage in dialogue, I’m dismissed or labeled “racist” for entering my two cents. If I stay silent and listen, I’m “pouting and seething”. I can’t win for losing.
What bothers me is that I work full time to take care of us and our daughter. We live in a nice place, we have nice things, we go out for fancy dinners, we go on vacations, when she asks for something, she gets it. I’m currently paying for her student loans for a degree that she hasn’t utilized quite yet. Currently, she stays home and raises our daughter. She’s a phenomenal mother. Our daughter is unbelievably advanced for her age. And I credit that ALL to her. But I receive no appreciation for what I’ve done and where I’ve gotten us to. We’ve been through dirt poor and now, comfortable together.
In our 7 years of being together, I’ve seen one moment of someone being racist towards her and that was an estranged family member of mine who has now been ousted. We have experienced far more flack for being an interracial couple over the years.
Anyhow, tonight was one of those nights where things boiled to a head. She talked about racism and white privilege for about three hours. At one point she even said “I know I’m a bit racist, but it doesn’t matter because I’m not part of the majority and therefore, I can’t affect someone’s life”. This comment forced me to look up from what I was doing, but ultimately, I didn’t say anything because I knew where this would go. After about another hour, she was becoming a bit more hostile. I managed to stay silent and just listen to what she had to say. Then, she said I was pouting because I wouldn’t say anything. And that I don’t know what it’s like to be like her and that I’ve never experienced anything like she has before. And you know what? I KNOW that. But what ultimately happens in our relationship is that ALL of my problems are dismissed because I’m white and NOT black. I can’t be stressed. I can’t be worried. I can’t be angry. Because I’m white…I’m the privileged one.
Where do I go from here? I can’t handle this every day. I’m NOT the one she should be fighting against but it always ends up that way. She ended her monologue tonight with “well, if we don’t make it together, you’ll know why”. What the hell should I be doing?! Any advice is welcome; especially from other interracial couples.
P.s. this is a burner account because she knows my main accounts.
So there’s the surface problem here, which is that his wife has become a racist. Unfortunately, in the last few years, that sort of “white people can do nothing right” mentality has become much more common on the Left. So, if she’s politically active, she would be regularly exposed to that toxic mentality and it seems she adopted it. Furthermore, that attitude is kind of ironically funny if you think about it. She’s calling him “privileged,” but he’s the one paying all the bills, including her student loans. Given that this is his GIRLFRIEND, not his wife, that’s way, way overboard and if anyone is privileged in that relationship, it seems like it’s her. It also tells you something that a woman with this mentality is so hostile to white people, that even the man she has a child with in a long term relationship can’t do anything right just because he’s caucasian.
………..Which brings us to a deeper problem. This guy is a blue pilled beta. He’s paying all of her bills and then sitting around like a bump on a log while she berates him FOR HOURS about the color of his skin. If she was angry about him lying to her, cheating on her or treating her mom like trash, you’d get the anger, but how do you fix, “She doesn’t like the color of my skin?” You don’t. How does any self-respecting man put up with that bullsh*t day after day after day? Of course, it’s also worth noting that if she really gave a damn about the relationship at this point, she wouldn’t be doing it. I don’t care how ideologically blinded she is, she knows she’s a nightmare to be around and that she’s risking the relationship by continuing to do it. Maybe she is so into her political beliefs that she just doesn’t want to date ANY white guy, but she also may just be ready to move. Whatever the case may be, his wimpy response to all of this has to be destroying any attraction she has left for him. At the end of the day, no woman wants to be around a weak man she holds in contempt.
So, long story short, should the guy leave? Yeah, probably. At a minimum, he needs to stop being her b*tch and draw a line in the sand about her behavior. If he can’t manage that, he’s probably doomed to just suffer until one of them snaps and heads for the hills.