I’m with Rick Sanchez on weddings…
…so I am eternally baffled by these women that think it’s some kind rare privilege to attend their weddings. Like this woman:
AITA for refusing to RSVP to my sister’s wedding because I’m required to write an “application essay” just to attend? Yeah I know this sounds insane but I’m living in it.
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So my sister is getting married next February, destination wedding no less. I have doubts whether this wedding is actually going to happen with the pandemic and everything but she is totally set on moving forward.
Anyways because of the pandemic, her original venue has made her cut down on guests because they’re cutting capacity by half. As a result she’s sending out “re-invites” that asks everyone to RSVP again. But in order to figure out who to invite and who to cut, she’s asking all confirmed guests to submit two 250-word “essays” to two questions. The gist is that they’ll use these essays to choose who can come or not, based on people’s enthusiasm. People who don’t write the essays at all will be automatically disqualified.
I just feel really insulted by all of this. The questions aren’t even pandemic-related, its broad topics like ”why do you still want to celebrate this day with us?” And “what will attending our wedding mean to you specifically?” So she’s blatantly looking for people to kiss ass and tell her why they REALLY want to go.
Anyways I told her in advance I’m not writing 500 words on why I NEED to attend her wedding, spend my own money on plane tickets/hotels, and buy her a present. This has really rubbed her and my parents the wrong way. She’s said that to keep things fair if I don’t fill out the RSVP correctly I won’t be saved a spot. I said fine with me. Then my parents said if I don’t show up I’m going to be in big fucking trouble with all our relatives so just write the essays.
AITA if I stay stubborn on this? I’m already annoyed at the thought of spending thousands and coming home to quarantine. But I will not belt out 500 words on how this is totally my choice. AITA?
Edit: I’m 27F. I don’t live with family but she is my only sister.
Edit2: Sister has framed these essays as “surveys” but there’s a word limit requirement so if you don’t reach it on the google forms you can’t even submit. Parents think this is perfectly reasonable, nice even, because sister is letting everyone have the chance to attend.
Flying somewhere else to attend a wedding of all things sounds pretty miserable under the best of circumstances, but with the Coronavirus, it’s even worse. You never know when it could take off in an area and next thing you know, the venue or hotels are closed completely AFTER you’ve already booked your airfare and hotel. If ever there was a time to have a small, local wedding, this is it.
Instead, this guy is being asked to write a fricking essay about why he wants to go to a wedding that no sane person would want to go to in the first place. It’s like making someone write an essay describing why they want to visit you in the hospital before they’re allowed to show up.
Would I fill out those essays? NOPE. As a general rule, I don’t think anyone should feel obligated to attend a “destination wedding.” If you want to have your wedding in Fiji, Antarctica, or Buenos Ares, great, but don’t ask everyone else to fly there. On top of that, I would be secretly hoping that she would get huffy and wouldn’t invite me, thereby saving me time, airfare, and a hotel bill. Of course, if I were getting married, I’d be perfectly happy to skip the extravagance and get married in a tiny, private ceremony, so what do I know?