Guys Talk About the Most Stupid Thing They Ever Did to Impress a Woman That Somehow Worked

I’m not sure any of these are replicable, but they’re definitely funny stories:

— One night I, a man, was outside a nightclub and I bumped into a girl who was a friend of a female friend of mine. We had only met once before very briefly and I thought she was amazing. We started making small talk and I was the right amount of drunk to be uninhibited but coherent lol there was a mall across the street and behind the semi open shutters were flowers in pots. I asked her for a kiss and she was like hmm I dunno, I said how about if I gave you a flower to make this more romantic, her back was to the mall and she couldn’t see the mall flowers. So I walk over reach my hand in and after a few minutes of struggle I pull out a cactus… Drunk eyes didn’t see they were all cacti not flowers. This seemed to impress her more. We kissed and after someone took a pic of her and I hugging and her holding a pot of cactus at 2am.

— Meeting my current girlfriend’s family and friends for the first time when we weren’t even official yet (had only gone on 3 dates). They were all drinking and I wanted to make a good impression by joining in with the fun and relaxing a bit. We played some drinking games which I absolutely sucked at, and as a result ended up drinking full solo cups of straight tequila. Ended up getting yelled at by her grandfather for being too loud, falling into a bathtub, vomited on myself in bed and on the floor and proceeded to have very loud sex where I loudly kept slapping her butt which to this day I cannot remember at all (had no idea when I woke up that I even had sex lol). To this day her family still reminds me of it, I’m honestly shocked she didn’t run away as fast as she could from this relationship. Been almost a year together now and thankfully I haven’t made any more “great first impressions”

— At a high school theater retreat I allowed this cute girl and her friends to shave my stomach hair into the shape of an arrow pointing at my dick. That was ten years ago, we’re married now.