Bride Who Demanded Guests Wear $1,000 Attire Now Wants Polygraph Tests for Wedding Participants

Brass Pills covered this story because, of course, we did! However, there has been an update. Before we get to the update, let’s go back to the hilarious beginnings of our story on Reddit,

Incidentally, if you are wondering what this hellish color scheme would look like, someone stepped up to the plate to help us out.

Trending: His Girlfriend Wants to Move in, But is Terrible With Money

You’re probably thinking, “There’s no way this story could get even better,” but if so, you’d be wrong because Metro News is on the case with the follow-up post from her Facebook page.

“Sounds like a super chill, casual get-together. So, what happens to the person who’s found guilty? ‘I will simply cut all ties and communication with you (and talk sh*t about you for a long, long time),’ writes the bride. ‘If you have any information about who violated my trust and my wedding planning, I will give you $100.’

Now a message for us, the ‘internet trolls’ who have commented on the dress code. Brace yourselves. To us, the bride writes: ‘DO YOU F***ING KNOW ME? DO YOU KNOW WHY WE ARE DOING THINGS THIS WAY? No??? ‘Then shut up! Go back to your scum basement and play video games and never f***ing make comments about people you don’t know. ‘My husband and I are certified spiritual healers with over ten years of experience.”

Is this woman cutting ties with you a terrible threat? Whoever did it should turn himself in, get the $100 reward and enjoy the privilege of getting this weird self-obsessed woman out of his life. By the way, what the hell are “certified spiritual healers?” Witch doctors? Voodoo specialists? If they’re both in a weird hippy-dippy profession, it may help explain why there is a man willing to sign on for the life-altering train wreck that marriage to a woman this wacky and selfish would entail. That being said, bro, raise your standards because the way she’s handling this wedding is a red flag that Stevie Wonder could see coming. Flee while you can.

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John Hawkins
John Hawkins created Rightwingnews.com in 2001; built it up to a top 10,000 in the world website; created a corporation with more than 20 employees to support it; created a 3.5 million person Facebook page; became one of the most popular conservative columnists in America; was published everywhere from National Review to Human Events, to Townhall, to PJ Media, to the Daily Wire, to The Hill; wrote a book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know that was at one point top 50 in the self-help section on Amazon; did hundreds of hours as a guest on radio shows, raised $611,000 in a GoFundMe for Brett Kavanaugh’s family and has been talked about everywhere from The New York Times to Buzzfeed, to the Washington Post, to Yahoo News, to the Rush Limbaugh Show, to USA Today. After seeing the unjust way that Brett Kavanaugh was treated during his hearings and how a lifetime worth of good work was put at risk by unprovable allegations, John Hawkins decided to create a men’s website. Welcome to Brass Pills!

 

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