Incidentally, if you are wondering what this hellish color scheme would look like, someone stepped up to the plate to help us out.
Trending: The 10 Funniest Coronavirus Memes So Far
You’re probably thinking, “There’s no way this story could get even better,” but if so, you’d be wrong because Metro News is on the case with the follow-up post from her Facebook page.
“Sounds like a super chill, casual get-together. So, what happens to the person who’s found guilty? ‘I will simply cut all ties and communication with you (and talk sh*t about you for a long, long time),’ writes the bride. ‘If you have any information about who violated my trust and my wedding planning, I will give you $100.’
Now a message for us, the ‘internet trolls’ who have commented on the dress code. Brace yourselves. To us, the bride writes: ‘DO YOU F***ING KNOW ME? DO YOU KNOW WHY WE ARE DOING THINGS THIS WAY? No??? ‘Then shut up! Go back to your scum basement and play video games and never f***ing make comments about people you don’t know. ‘My husband and I are certified spiritual healers with over ten years of experience.”
Is this woman cutting ties with you a terrible threat? Whoever did it should turn himself in, get the $100 reward and enjoy the privilege of getting this weird self-obsessed woman out of his life. By the way, what the hell are “certified spiritual healers?” Witch doctors? Voodoo specialists? If they’re both in a weird hippy-dippy profession, it may help explain why there is a man willing to sign on for the life-altering train wreck that marriage to a woman this wacky and selfish would entail. That being said, bro, raise your standards because the way she’s handling this wedding is a red flag that Stevie Wonder could see coming. Flee while you can.