There is a time and a place to be an asshole. That time is not “always” unless you’re as rich, famous, and talented as the late Steve Jobs, who managed to make it work somehow. It’s also not “never,” because there are people in the world that are going to push you to your limits and if you don’t set them straight, you’re going to have a really bad time. It is worth noting that there is a purpose to being an asshole and if it’s not serving that purpose, it’s the wrong time to do it. You don’t behave like an asshole because you feel bad, because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or because your boss yelled at you earlier today and you are looking for someone to take it out on. Being an asshole to someone is a little like hanging them. Do it if you have to do it, but you better make sure that they deserve it.
My dog Jackson is one of the best-natured dogs I’ve ever seen and he loves other dogs. Another dog can play rough, growl, or even snap at him and he’s completely unphased and still willing to be their pal. However, on a few occasions when bigger dogs have gotten way too wild while playing and once when a little dog went beyond snapping to trying to attack, he upped his game. With the bigger dogs, he growled and warned them off. Sort of a like a more mature dog telling a younger dog, “Son, you better calm down or there’s going to be a problem.” With the small dog, he literally just forced him to the ground with his paw-like, “You want to try that with me? Seriously?” My very sweet-natured dog knows when to be an asshole.
The principle is the same with people. It’s like that classic line from Roadhouse, “I want you to be nice until it’s time to not be nice.”
Be polite. Be helpful. Say “yes sir” and “no mam.” Don’t be quick to anger or treat minor slights like major deals. Like the Bible says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” All that applies until someone deliberately steps over a line. Note that I said, “deliberately.” If someone accidentally crosses the line, then you can politely, but firmly handle the situation. That’s healthy, it establishes boundaries and if it’s handled the right way, people will often RESPECT YOU MORE for standing up for yourself without being an asshole.