5 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your New Girlfriend

New relationships can be tricky and as a dude, you’ve got to feel out your new girlfriend’s boundaries. Everyone knows women are emotional creatures and if you don’t know what will upset or irritate us, it’s pretty easy to step into a pit of emotional quicksand from which it is difficult or impossible to escape.

I’m here to help you out by giving you a list of things you should go out of your way to avoid at the beginning of your relationship. You can thank me later.

1. Don’t Say ANYTHING About Your Ex-Girlfriends

In the early stages of a relationship, it can be easy to compare your new girlfriend to your old one. That’s perfectly fine as long as nothing comes out of your mouth. While we all know it subconsciously, women don’t like being told that they’re being compared to the girls who came before them. Unless we ask, we don’t want to hear anything about them. Heck, even if we do ask, we want only vague details. Exes are a minefield in your new relationship and the only way to avoid an explosion is to steer clear of it completely.

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2. How Many Women You’ve Slept With

This goes hand-in-hand with #1, but with a couple of key differences. Women are naturally going to be morbidly curious about how many women you’ve slept with, but under no circumstances are you to tell them. Every woman wants to hear that they’re the only girl you’ve ever been with, but all they really need to know is that you’re STD-free and only sleeping with them at the time. If she really likes you it won’t matter what number she is, she’s going to make a serious effort to be your last.

3. What Morally Questionable Establishments You Frequented When You were Single

So you went to the strip club every Friday with your friends before you met her. In this case, honesty is NOT the best policy. Do NOT tell your new girl about your favorite stripper or how she can touch her ankles behind her head. This conversation will go nowhere good, and it will get there very fast. First of all, it will make her think that you’re a pig who only values women for their bodies. Next, the jealousy will kick in even if you haven’t been there since you started seeing her. Keep this kind of thing your dirty little secret, your relationship will thank you.

4. Your Financial Status

You can afford the occasional high-brow dinner and a Starbucks lunch date, and that’s all she needs to know. If she’s asking about your financial situation in the infancy of your relationship, there’s a good chance that she’s not after your heart, she’s after your wallet. Don’t volunteer information about how much money you make or where it goes until you are married. Make sure she wants you for you, and not how many digits are on your balance.

5. “I Love You”

A man that professes his love early in the relationship is only cute in romance books and movies. In the real world, it makes you look creepy, desperate and clingy. You may very well feel this way, but don’t let those words fall out of your face until some time has passed. You could still be in the “crush” phase and when the shiny coat has worn off of your relationship, you might realize that you not only don’t love her, but would be perfectly okay with never seeing her face ever again. It’s just easier for everyone if you keep a lid on your “love” for your new girlfriend.