11 Signs You are a Simp

The word SIMP gets tossed around these days, so let’s start with a basic definition courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

A man that puts himself in a subservient/submissive position under women in hopes of winning them over, without the female bringing anything to the table. …A man that puts too much value on a female for no reason.

Also, just to be clear, let me note that merely agreeing with a woman, pulling out a chair for her, or being kind to a woman doesn’t make a man a simp.

Simps are men that put themselves below women, elevate women above men, or behave weakly in a futile effort to get laid. So, how do you tell if you’re a simp?

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1) You’re giving a woman money on OnlyFans because you’re sexually attracted to her.

2) You describe yourself as a male feminist or “male ally” of women.

3) You’re in a “female-led” relationship.

4) You step in to defend women online because you think women will be impressed with your white knighting.

5) You’re buying her drinks at the bar even though you know she’s not having sex with you or worse yet, you’re buying drinks for her friends.

6) You nod along or defend a woman complaining about manspreading. If you actually get quiet because you’re accused of mansplaining your point of view.

7) You say things like “You’re so beautiful” on the Facebook or Instagram pages of women you don’t know.

8) You get upset when you hear that some E-girl you’re following has a boyfriend.

9) If you’re buying her things in hopes of getting her to like you.

10) If you’re not married to her and you’re paying her bills.

11) If you say something, “I’d hate men too if I was a woman” or “This kind of thing makes me ashamed to be a man.”

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John Hawkins
John Hawkins created Rightwingnews.com in 2001; built it up to a top 10,000 in the world website; created a corporation with more than 20 employees to support it; created a 3.5 million person Facebook page; became one of the most popular conservative columnists in America; was published everywhere from National Review to Human Events, to Townhall, to PJ Media, to the Daily Wire, to The Hill; wrote a book 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know that was at one point top 50 in the self-help section on Amazon; did hundreds of hours as a guest on radio shows, raised $611,000 in a GoFundMe for Brett Kavanaugh’s family and has been talked about everywhere from The New York Times to Buzzfeed, to the Washington Post, to Yahoo News, to the Rush Limbaugh Show, to USA Today. After seeing the unjust way that Brett Kavanaugh was treated during his hearings and how a lifetime worth of good work was put at risk by unprovable allegations, John Hawkins decided to create a men’s website. Welcome to Brass Pills!


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